What Disability Pride Means to Me
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A few weeks ago I received an email that has brightened my entire month.
The email was a reply from a nondisabled colleague. Because July is Disability Pride Month and I’m a disability rights advocate, I started my email with “Happy Disability Pride Month!” I didn’t expect anything back. I say it because it’s important to me.
But her reply opened with “Happy Disability Pride Month to you, too!”
Seven words. They might seem inconsequential, but those seven words made a difference to me. They changed my month, just a little bit. Just enough to make a difference.
Those words said, “I see you. I value you. Your disabled life matters.” They said, “you matter.”
It might seem silly to put so much emphasis on a casual sentence at the beginning of an email, but really, sometimes it’s the smallest things that have the greatest impact.
Her response made me feel seen and validated. It suggested that the lives of disabled people were important to her, too.
Everyday acts of inclusion can be that simple. Sometimes it’s just seeing us and validating our lived experience as disabled people in a society that tells us we are less, abnormal, a burden.
As we close out July, I wanted to share a bit about Disability Pride Month and what it means to me.
When I first became disabled about a decade ago, I wasn’t thinking about pride.
My focus was practical and intellectual. What should I tell my kids? What kind of mobility aid should I use? How should I refer to myself - as a person with a disability or as a disabled person?
I tried to intellectualize disability. Research was safer than emotions. I learned that the most important piece of legislation for disabled people in the United States is the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), signed on July 26, 1990.
In part, it defines disability as having a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits the ability to perform one or more major life activities.
The law established protections against discrimination in areas like employment and access to public spaces. Enforcement of the law leaves much to be desired, but it did establish that disabled people matter. That we don’t deserve to be discriminated against or excluded from society.
Disability Pride Month is celebrated in July to commemorate the signing of the ADA.
What is Disability Pride?
I might have encountered Disability Pride Month while pursuing my questionable “coping-by-intellectualizing” strategy. The first official Disability Pride Month was celebrated in July 2015 to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the ADA. That means Disability Pride Month was becoming established around the same time I was becoming disabled.
My first recollection of Disability Pride as a thing was when I started using the self-care app Finch almost four years ago. The app includes lots of LGBTQIA+ Pride accessories to dress your cute little wellness bird. I delighted to see so many bright colors, so much Pride! Then I noticed this one flag that stood out from the others because it looked almost desaturated. What the heck was that?
It was the Disability Pride flag. Honestly, I was disappointed that it wasn’t bright and fun. Is this really how disability pride shows up? Aren’t we fun and bright, too? But when I learned about how the flag was developed, I kind of fell in love with Disability Pride.
How the flag happened
Here’s the short explanation of what made the process so cool. For a longer explanation about the symbolism of each of the flag’s elements from the designer herself, I recommend visiting Ann Magill’s tumblr. For a brief history that includes an alternate flag, Wikipedia is helpful.
In 2016, Magill proposed a Disability Pride flag with bright colors and zigzagging stripes. I won’t share an image of the original flag because, as Magill learned, when the original version is displayed on some screens it can cause problems for people with photosensitive disabilities.
In 2021 the flag took on the basic design it has today. The zigzag became a straight diagonal and the colors were desaturated. Now that I know its history is grounded in inclusion, I love it more.
I love that our flag changed because of conversations with other people in the disability community.
It reminds me that as well-intentioned advocates and allies it’s okay that we don’t have all the answers, that it’s impossible to know everything about every kind of disability or accommodation.
And sometimes, we won’t get it right.
What matters more is being in conversation and open to learning from peoples’ lived experiences.
Although I truly love the flag and its story, I love what it stands for even more.
Why does Disability Pride matter?
Disability Pride matters because pride is the antidote to shame.
Coming to terms with this concept was pivotal in learning to manage the emotional aspects of disability. It’s also why I do what I do today.
Shame doesn’t come from disability - it comes from ableism.
What does it mean to me?
Every person with a disability gets to decide how they feel about their own disability. To me, it feels weird to say I’m proud of being disabled. Disability is something that just … happened to me, like my body changing after menopause or having hazel eyes.
It’s not an accomplishment for me to be disabled.
However, it absolutely is an accomplishment to live in ableist society without losing my self-worth. It takes strength of character, creativity, ingenuity, and resilience to live a meaningful, joyful life as a disabled person in our society that values productivity, efficiency, perfection, independence, and being “normal.”
Disability pride is the antidote to ableist shame.
Wrapping up
We all benefit from more pride and less ableism, and not just because each of us is only one injury or illness away from becoming disabled ourselves.
The world is a better place when we don’t judge anyone for needing help, when we value effectiveness and inclusion over efficiency, and when we respect people as their authentic selves.
It all begins with those small acts of inclusion. Happy Disability Pride Month!
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